Magical Girl Sailor Molly
by 10forever
Summary: Molly used to be a Princess, the Guardian of the Dead. Now, well, she's plain old Molly, and she's having a bad day. Crack. See A/N for pairings. Warnings: Language  lots o' swears  Fill for the BBC Sherlock meme . Complete.


**A/N: For the sherlockbbc kinkmeme. Prompt: _When Molly was a teenager, she was part of a Sailor Moon-esc group. Once evil stopped threatening the Earth, Molly and company put their glittery mini-skirts into retirement. Moriarty's registering on their Supernatural Evil Scale, however, so Molly and the girls put on their pink and purple wigs and kick some ass. _**

**So... I guess this has become a parody of Magical Girl shows, so.. yeah. Serious crackyness ahead. Also, warnings for swearing, casual blasphemy. Also, there's some SERIOUS hand waving when it comes to timelines. Just roll with it, yo. Takes place during TGG. **

**Pairings: mentioned Molly/Moriarty, past implied Molly/Sherlock, Molly/Lestrade, Sarah/John, Harry/Irene Adler. As I said. Crack.**

* * *

><p>Molly had had better days. Days that didn't involve Jim standing her up for lunch. Days that didn't end in her coming home and finding Toby waiting for her in her bedroom, glaring at her.<p>

"Molly," he announced grandly. "We have need of you."

Molly stared at Toby for a long moment. And then another one, and then, just because she could, she rubbed her eyes and then stared some more before she could put words into how she was feeling. "Shit. Buggering. Fuck."

"Language, Princess!" Toby scolded, fixing her with a Look that only other felines and Sherlock could have managed. "Such words are beneath a Guardian such as yourself!"

"Why are you talking?" Molly groaned, dropping her bag onto the bed. "You haven't said a word in years. Thirteen, glorious years. Years that I didn't spend running around London and almost failing all my classes."

"We have need of you once more. The Darkness has once more returned to London-"

"And it's my destiny to preserve the world and return harmony to the order in the name of High Magic. Yes, I know. You gave me this speech when I was fourteen." Molly sighed, closing her eyes momentarily. "Aren't I a little too old for this?"

"It is your Destiny," Toby said. Molly could hear the capitalization and dear god she was already missing these past years of cat-related silence. "Your time as Guardian will never end, not until the Darkness has been defeated and balance-"

"Right! I'm being called back to duty, I get it," Molly snapped before looking up hopefully. "I lost my Wand, though. Don't suppose that means I'm off the hook?"

Toby pulled out the Wand of Death (which, unfortunately was nowhere as cool as it sounded. It looked more like a black dildo with a skull and wings on the hilt) from underneath Molly's pillow. Molly wondered if it had been there all along. Surely she would have noticed it. "I saved it for you, Princess. Transform now- the Darkness is gathering as we speak."

Molly groaned and took her Wand, grudgingly holding it over her hand and activating it. "_Guardians of the Old Magic, unite! Let Death appear and punish those who threaten my Kingdom!" _

Bursts of silver surrounded her vision and Molly suffered the uncomfortable sensation of being naked and wrapped in clingy plastic wrap. Suddenly she was snapped back into reality, landing in a posed stance like an Olympic gymnast.

Molly glanced down at her self before rushing for her mirror. "Of for the love of-!"

She had been de-aged, somehow, and was now stuffed back into her seventeen year old body. Which, actually, wasn't that surprising considering that when she was fourteen she had aged _into_ this body. But that wasn't what horrified Molly. No, that was something much worse.

The uniform. Hadn't. Changed.

"I look like a Japanese cartoon," she moaned, staring at her silver hair. She still had the meatballs, the two little buns at the top of her pony tails. Her clothes weren't much better- a black miniskirt and matching corset with white lace, two puffy grey sleeves, and worse of all, black lace thigh-high boots and matching gloves. The entire outfit was adorned with skulls with hearts for eyes, of course, because High Magic was anything but subtle. And while Molly had actually loved the outfit when she was a teenager, now she kind of wanted to punch herself repeatedly in the face.

"Go out and find the other Guardians," Toby ordered, sitting smugly on her bed, "For only together do you have a hope of defeating the Darkness."

"I think they'll be hard to miss," Molly muttered under her breath as she opened her window and leaped out of it, aiming for the roof of the building across the alley. There was no way she was taking the elevator dressed like this.

Being young and magical had it's perks, particularly when it came down to half-running, half-flying across the city looking for her fellow Guardians. Just as Molly predicted, it wasn't that hard.

Harry was waiting on the top of a building that couldn't really be seen clearly by any of the surrounding buildings.

"Jesus buggering fuck balls, right?" Harry asked, brushing her orange hair out of her eyes. "I must've let out a million swears from the dirty look Gladstone gave me."

"I don't know why they thought talking cats would make wise sages," Molly replied, sinking down next to the Guardian of Spirit. "I've had to wash his spit-up out of my carpet and I know where his tongue has been. It doesn't exactly fill me with inspiration."

"I looked at your blog," Harry began slyly. "I mean, since you were linked to John's and all. Who's this Jim?"

"Well, usually a sweet modern boy who watches Glee with me. But after this afternoon the ass who stood me up on a date."

Harry winced sympathetically. "You called him modern and he watches Glee? Sorry Princess, my gaydar's going off."

"Of course he's gay," Molly snapped, tapping her Wand against her thigh. "But he wasn't Sherlock and he was willing to pay for everything like a gentleman."

"Who's willing to pay for everything?" Irene asked, landing on the roof in a blur of pink and a truly horrid mosaic of hearts. "Can I have his number?"

"I don't think the Guardian of Love is supposed to be code for unabashed gold digger," Molly snapped.

Harry grinned. "No, I think it's supposed to guarantee sexy times."

"Down girl," Irene replied with a wink before she shifted her corset downwards, frowning at her breasts. "Goddamn it, I haven't it my growth spurt yet."

"Is that what they're calling it now?" Harry asked, raising her Wand in salute. It had a single star. How that was supposed to symbolize spirit was anyone's guess. Sarah had argued that it was supposed to represent the heavens, where souls would go, but honestly? Harry stopped caring the fifth time she stabbed herself on one of the sharp points.

"Sally and Sarah are coming," Irene announced, testing to see if she could still fit her mobile down her shirt. She could, but just barely.

"I know. I can see them," Harry replied, nodding in the distance. Sure enough, green and yellow blurs were streaking towards them. Molly winced as soon as she saw Sarah. She had forgotten about the hooker heels.

"I think men designed our costumes," Sally growled, fixing her tiara so it held her hair out of her face. "Who the bloody hell is supposed to fit crime in lolita outfits?"

"The eternally screwed?" Harry offered. Sally looked as if she was considering throwing her Wand at Harry, but they all knew from experience the scale on Sally's wand made it act like a boomerang. Sarah's wand was much more straightforward, topped with a green tree. It was supposed to be the tree of life or something, but Sarah was allergic to most pollen, so it seemed like a cruel cosmic joke.

"So," Irene said after a moment's pause as they all stared at each other so they could commiserate in silence. "Someone said something about the Darkness Part II?"

"This better be good," Sarah huffed. "I was in the middle of trying to track down my missing boyfriend."

Sally crossed her arms. "And I've spent the past couple of days trailing after Sherlock Holmes because of that stupid bomber. I'm not super pleased to be here either."

"But we have do defeat the Darkness," Molly said. "I vote we do this quickly. There's no reason we have to spend half the night chasing after it. Maybe if we throw some magic at it-"

"It's been years," Sarah pointed out, ever the practical one.

"I'm with Molly," Harry announced, swinging herself to her feet. "Let's kick some ass and be home by midnight."

"All right," Sally sighed. She held her Wand up in the air. "Let's get this over with."

The five Guardians all touched their Wands together and breathed as one. Clearing their minds, they reached across London, looking for any trace of the Darkness.

"The pool," they all chorused as one, even though London had hundreds of pools and none that really stuck out to any of them. But they where all on the same wavelength so they took off, jumping across alleys and yelling at passing perverts who tried to see up their skirts.

After kicking down the door to the pool, everyone took a second to stare in surprise. Sherlock and John had been expecting many ways for the confrontation to end, but being saved by teenage girls in eye-wateringly bright costumes was not one of them.

"Girls! I wasn't expecting you here," the man at the other end of the pool cooed. "It's so good to see the Guardians again. Just like old times."

"How do you know us?" Sally demanded, taking a step forwards.

"You don't recognize an old friend?" he asked, before taking a small mocking bow. "James Moriarty. Or, as you might remember, the Professor."

"Oh... come on!" Molly hissed as he transformed. She was never going to live this one down.

"I wondered if you would recognize me, Molly," Jim said with an exaggerated shrug. "I was very disappointed. It was more fun this way, of course, but it was rather depressing to discover the advisory of my youth was so, well. Stupid."

"Sorry, I didn't recognize the crazy all grown up," Molly bit back. "Although, not _much _more grown up. I think I have a good two inches on you, in these heels."

"Wait, _that's_ your Jim?" Harry asked. "The Professor? How did you manage that?"

"_Harry_!" John shouted.

"John?" Harry called back. "What are you doing here?"

"Just, er-" John glanced towards a winter coat wrapped around what looked like a bomb a few feet away from them. "I sort of got kidnapped. Again."

"Does this have to do with the bombings?" Harry whirled back to face Moriarty. "Oh, hell no. No one tries to blow up my little brother!"

"Or my boyfriend," Sarah put in, hefting her Wand considerably. If she aimed it right, it could give Moriarty a pretty decent whack on the head.

"Yeah, we sort of used to fight crime together," Harry replied apologetically. "Sorry. I totally approve, though. It doesn't have to be weird."

"Is that Sergeant Donovan I see? I wouldn't imagine your crime fighting efforts to be all that successful, given what I've seen." Sherlock finally said. He had ignored them up till this point, using the distraction to pinpoint the position of the snipers. All the little red dots had swarmed back and forth between them and the girls since they arrived, clearly unnerved by the neon teenagers but unwilling to shoot without orders.

"I'm not afraid to use this," Sally threatened, hefting her Wand. "And I'll make sure it goes in scale-end first."

"I'm pretty sure that's my job," Irene said, eying Sherlock appreciatively. "I'm beginning to think I was given my former barely legal body for a reason."

"Yes, how does that work?" Sherlock asked, eyeing them all before he turned to Moriarty. "And you weren't surprised when they came in. How do they factor into your plan?"

"You wouldn't remember, you deleted it all years ago," Moriarty cooed, winking at him. "But I knew the best way to get the Guardians out of retirement for a bit of fun was to threaten the Millennium Prince."

"Oh god," Molly groaned. "Please, no."

"Sherlock is the Guardian of Knowledge?" Sarah repeated slowly.

"More like the Guardian of Bloody Tossers," Sally hissed.

"Oh yes, yes, and not likely." Moriarty giggled a bit before he waved at Molly. "Sorry for standing you up, but I was off finding your long-lost husband, Princess."

"Husband?" Sherlock glanced sharply at Molly who shook her head furiously.

"It was in another lifetime," she said fiercely, already feeling her cheeks burning. "Obviously it didn't work out. We all _died_-"

"We all die, Molly. Well, no, that's a lie. You die. I, however, am about to kill you." Moriarty raised a wand of his own. It began to glow brightly, and a beam of light shot towards Molly before the Guardians could raise their Wands.

Molly felt herself be pulled out of the way as the end of a whip cracked out of nowhere and knocked the light back into Moriarty, who disappeared in a cloud of smoke and a howl that dissolved into giggles.

"One of these days I'm just going to shoot him in his face," Harry announced. "Bullets seem more effective than magic."

"Where did that come from?" Sarah asked as the smoke cleared, at the same time John groaned, "Dear god, there's another one."

"Are you okay?" asked the man standing above Molly. His face was covered by a mask, but Molly could never forget the silver cape.

"It's the Silver Fox!" Irene gasped before she leaned forward to leer slightly. "And what a fox..."

"I'm fine," Molly said quickly. The Silver Fox hadn't appeared to age either, which likely meant he had suffered the same problem she had, which meant-

"You look ridiculous, Lestrade," Sherlock said flatly as he returned John his gun. "So you're all involved in this?"

"Lestrade?" Molly repeated. "Really?"

"Molly?" Lestrade took off his mask, and- yep, thirteen years younger but he still had silver hair. "Is that you?"

"Coffee," Molly decided. "Moriarty's off making his next move. We can talk... strategy. Yeah, strategy."

"Work in the morning!" Sally called after their retreating backs before shaking her head fondly. "As long as the Princess is happy."

"And that," Harry said, giving Sherlock a very-much-not appreciated thump on the back, "Is why your marriage never worked out."

"I don't understand anything that just happened," John announced. "I'm going down to the pub, and I'm getting a beer. You're all welcome to join and explain things once you de-glitter."

"Of course," Sarah said sweetly, giving him a peck on the cheek as she led him out of the pool. "Wouldn't want to accidentally flash anyone in this miniskirt."

Irene pouted as she watched them go. "I always thought I was going to be the first one to shag in costume."

"You still can," Harry said, grinning suggestively. "My flat's just around the corner. I'll race you there!"

"We never speak of this again," Sally said as the door slammed shut. "Nothing's changed."

"Now, now, Sergeant Donovan," Sherlock replied with a smirk. "I'm your Prince."

"Yeah," Sally agreed with a shrug. "But that means Mycroft is the King."


End file.
